Pieces of my life scattered along the pilgrim's path left for others to find. May the crumbs bring HIM glory. "I will rescue the lame and gather those who have been scattered. I will give them praise and honor in every land where they were put in shame." Zephaniah 3:19 I am a stumbling Christ Follower that loves Him with all my heart. Long time married to my high school sweetheart, mommy of three treasures, called to homeschool. I love the Word but forget it at times. By faith....
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The New Deal
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Teaching is sure revealing to the teacher. Needing to break concepts down for little ones, I find myself being the one taught.
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Today, fresh to my spirit, once again, the heart of servant hood. My daughter, Little Mommy, at eight, ranting under her breath, "All you want is for me to be a servant, 'round here!" My reply to her grumbles, "Yes, that's exactly right." "WHAT", she wailed.
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Isn't that just it. We really don't want to serve. Sure, I love to put on some serve time. Love to take it off too. Live it in each moment? What about me, my time? Who's gonna be there for me? I'm tired. It's someone else's turn. I'm always the servant. More sad to say, is that my personal litany doesn't end here. It is so nasty, like trash in my heart. Daughter, is only showing what is in my heart at times. If I dare see truth. Will I turn from truth? Will I allow truth to free me? Or will I simply walk by it, compromised to chains? Chains sucking life out of me and others.
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Truth. The truth as I shared with my young disciple is that we are designed to serve. We will serve. Nothing can stop or prevent it. Our choice is to who or what will our service go. Our only hope is Jesus. The default is fantastically horrible and deceiving, like in so many things. Focus and desire must be on what matters. If we fail to discipline our thoughts and heart to this everyday, over and over again choosing to serve Jesus.........we simply won't. It doesn't seem fair. Everyone one wants a one time choice. Servant of the King pursues daily. That's who he or she simply is. Servant of the KING.
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Lazy or Trustworthy. These are the opposing ideas presented this week. To grow in becoming a reliable woman of God.
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"Lazy people irritate their employers, like vinegar to the teeth or smoke in the eyes." Proverbs 10:26
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"Trustworthy messengers refresh like snow in summer they revive the spirit of their employer." Proverbs 25:13
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We put vinegar on her teeth, that was a life lesson to be remembered and she recently had smoke in her eyes. Coming in to the air conditioner for a drink of water on a hot summer day is something she is familiar with. She doesn't want that kind of negative affect on others. Neither do I. The chance to participate with the LORD as water...WOW. How awesome is that. We both want that. Servant, has a different sound in the light. Could this also mean we have the ability to taste like vinegar or water to the LORD himself. Are we HIS refreshment? Maybe not a need, but a desire. Is this our opportunity to shine in His eyes. Who'd want to miss that.
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Is it worth the sacrifice of deceiving momentary self service or apathy, that leads to all we don't want? That's an easy Spoken YES, but too often a Lived NO.
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God always sets before us life and death....cheers us on, "Choose LIFE!" Laziness kills life in us and those around us. Trustworthiness brings and renews life. We are contrasting our days in a personal journal chart these two extreme positions.
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What joy it is to know and to share that we don't have to be despondent when we look in ourselves and find garbage. God knows it's there and is just waiting for us to see it and agree with him that it's trash. It's GREAT news! You don't take trash out or burn it if you don't know it's trash or can't see it.
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So my question to all of you, " Are you going to see garbage for garbage? Are you going to call it something else? Are you going to ignore it and walk by? Or Are You going to see it for what it really is, and throw it OUT. Let the garbage truck come by and haul it off, take it where you won't pick it back up!" Burn it.
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Servant for LIFE. In the small everyday moments that define who we are, enabling the impossible to live in us.
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How many of us grew up answering the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
SERVANT! It wasn't my answer but I am a new creation, it's my answer NOW!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Do You See What I See?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Fourth of July Delights
The Battle Is Not MINE
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Psalm 61
"Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.
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From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
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For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
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I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
Selah
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For you have heard my vows, O God;
you have given me the heritage
of those who fear your name.
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Increase the days of the king's life,
his years for many generations.
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May he be enthroned in God's presence forever;
appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.
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Then will I ever sing praise to your name
and fulfill my vows day after day. "
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You, Lord and no other are The Strong Tower. Thank you for showing me my dependence on you through my children. Help me give them a heritage of a mother that fears YOUR NAME.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Show Me YOUR WAYS
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Plans. The LORD has a plan for me. It's one I don't know. It's one HE is asking me to trust HIM. As I look back I can see, I didn't have a clue. So, why is it so hard to trust HIM now? I do trust HIM with so much. This fear just keeps creeping in. What about this or this God? Are you considering this or that? If this is going on in my head, I am limiting His GODness. I am confining Him to the boundaries of HIS creation. He is the Creator. I gotta remember that. HE is MORE than all of it together. More than my imagination. More than all of history or all of the future. More than every mind's thoughts at once. I cannot truly understand it. Hence my fears. I get it in theory. I wanna get it in reality.
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I love to plan. I don't always love carrying out the beautifully made plans. It is a season of planning for me. Homeschooling, Co-op, Bible study, parenting, homemaking, and the list goes on and on. Over my head. Praise Jesus, it's not over HIS.
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What I'm wanting is more hope. Hope and not feelings of defeat upon planning my year. How I wrestle with the LORD. I give it all up to Him and then at the first sign of doubt, grab and tear it away from Him.
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So for today I am going to remember the picture above, and not abort His promise in me. Remember that I am adopted by the KING of KINGS. It's His Kingdom. And I'm His Princess. The plans are going to be great! Full of surprise to delight my soul. Not with the begrudging attitude of a preteen's heart but that of a dancing child spinning in dress up clothes. I'll never be grown up in Christ. What a treasure it is to know He takes joy in me as I grow. The more I trust Him, the more He smiles at my dancing.
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I don't know the plans HE has for me. I'm not suppose to. What I am to do is trust Him with my future. So I will seek His will, make all my plans and be ready to follow Him off my plans on to His when He calls, taking His hand and holding tight. What I do know is that no matter how much I plan HE IS going to surprise me with changes and challenges. My heart is set not to be derailed by this but anticipate it. Eyes open looking for Jesus. Not afraid of harm. Looking towards prosperity.
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"He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor." Proverbs 21:21
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"Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old." Psalm 25:4 - 6
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My lips are left singing, "Show me your ways, that I may walk with you. Show me your ways, I put my hope in you........"
Friday, July 9, 2010
Filled with JOY
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How many times has the LORD come to my rescue? I can't even remember. How many dreams has HE filled? Too many to count. The question has never been if the LORD brings me back from some form of captivity. But, WHEN. Did I sing songs of joy so much so that all peoples around me knew the LORD had done great things for me? Did I let HIM fill me with joy or stop the flow when I thought it was enough? Did I stop Him from filling my mouth with laughter? If I was full there would be no room for anything else. So I must face that I cut GOD off. Because when HE did, I said how much and what's it gonna mean. And I set the boundaries of just who would know about it. I even made the parameter of how much I'd let it change me.
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Jesus is a giver of fresh starts. HE is happy just knowing I want a fresh start. I wanna sing for joy and not focus on losses or difficulties. I wanna know HE is in control and has a plan so I don't have to. I wanna laugh. My life has been so full of problems to solve, deadlines and the business of living that I'm missing the joy. Sure I have joy in the moments. But that is not the kind of joy Jesus has for me. It is not the limited joy I pull out at times but an abiding joy oozing out, spilling on others. The kind of joy that can't be contained. The kind of joy that is contagious! I want what the LORD wants to give me!
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Three stones of remembrance are laid in my life so I will NOT forget. Three great blessings the LORD has done for me. They are a challenge everyday. What do they remember of me each day they go to sleep? What will they remember of me when they grow and fly away? Yes, they DO need to be under authority. Yet, it is joy I want them to take with them and remember. It's what I want to remember too.
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The old saying, If Momma ain't happy nobody's happy, is convictingly true.
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"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1
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Surely to open up to the LORD's filling is wise. It appears foolish to the world, even to myself. I am the blessing blocker. It is to my shame. Save me. Bring me back to your heart Jesus, once again. Leave my heart seared with your joy, singing for all to see the great things the LORD has done for me.
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"Therefore I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations; I will sing praises to your name." 2 Samuel 22:50
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"Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts." 1 Chronicles 16:9
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"Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him." Psalm 33:1
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Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Thoughts of MERCY
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Freedom Stitches
Thursday, July 1, 2010
He Settles Me
"He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD." Psalm 113:9
My plans have never been the Master's. I live a life that was unknown to me in my youth. How could I have known. How could have I embraced sorrow and loss for the joy set before me. I did not have that kind of faith, trust and love for God in me. I didn't think anyone did. Not really. After all, I was a Christian living among Christians. But this was not fair. I was a good girl. I didn't deserve this. I did not see or know faith walkers. I loved Jesus, but wasn't in-love with Him. I loved Him cause He first loved me. I did not love Him like He was Everything.
The idea that HE settled me, "the barren woman", as a happy mother is heart changing. He really is GOD. And i'm not. HE really is able. And i'm not. HE really is in control. And i'm not. Big change from my youth of believing I was able and in control. (Taking God along with ME.)
The LORD chose to stretch me to the point of breaking each time becoming mommy. That was by design. My flesh does NOT like this. Also, the point. The LORD had HIS purposes to pursue in me. Ouch! Cry! Wine! Complain! Bringing all sorts of disgusting impurities to surface. HE was after COMPLETE surrender!
The LORD, my GOD is faithful and blessed me when the fight against Him as King perished. My heart forever circumcised pledged to Believe HIM. Trust Him. He settled not only motherhood but my entire life through it. Nothing is the same. What I knew in word, I now know in fact. What a precious gift. He gave me faith, despite me. He won my heart. He settled me alright. My heart can be at peace whatever the circumstance life surrounds me with. Because HE settles me..
"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16 - 18
Friday, June 25, 2010
The Color of LOVE
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. Genesis 1:3What is color if not fragments of light? My children have been painted by the Master with different shades of His Light.
The call to be colored blind misses God's beauty of creation and purpose. Part of HIM. I ask myself, Do I miss Him all around me? Do I merely see His outline? Do I only look for the outline of others, even my loved ones? Am I reflecting Him? Do I love as HE does?
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Matthew 5;4
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Last Task of Moving Forward
Do you ever WANT to leave when God calls you too? I am not a beauty when it comes to this type of godly obedience. So why am I shocked my daughter is traumatized? Many changes and losses were experienced in our family. My daughter's world was rocked. Namely lifestyle and location.
My original homeschooling plan this year was NOT the Lords. It took me some time to get on His Page for Little Mommy, as she is nick named. His plan was far better and met her needs in this season. She is wonderful. What could have been permanent problems with her character have been redeemed. How my heart is thankful.
However, I am at a loss in putting together an impressive portfolio for her pending evaluation. That is my problem and one my heart will feel freedom ring again once it is behind me. How do you document God's Plan that looks foolish to the world?
The blessings of homeschooling no longer need to be explained or defended to any of our extended family. In fact some of the biggest critics now pay my so called salary with their support emotionally and financially. They have been the Lord's hands and feet on this mission field.
So I will remember HIS constant faithfulness and that HE has a plan. All i am to do is believe and participate in it. The portfolio is really His concern.
"I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."
Genesis 12:3
So I'm off to compiling Little Mommy's Portfolio!
Monday, June 21, 2010
On The Pilgrim Path
"I will rescue the lame and gather those who have been scattered. I will give them praise and honor in every land where they were put in shame." Zephaniah 3:19
About myself: I am a stumbling Christ Follower that loves Him with all my heart. Long time married to my high school sweetheart and the mommy of three treasures. I love the Word but forget it at times. The Lord called me to homeschool when my son was three. Graduating this year he will be going to Bible College out of state. I am going to miss him like part of my heart is cut out. I am so proud of him and thankful to God's faithfulness completing what HE set out for me. BY FAITH is all it was. Remaining in our home are two beautiful daughters, eight and two. So it is a bit like starting all over again. This time hopefully, there won't be any dead animals in pockets! The mission is up and running! Grace and peace to you all.