I WILL...

I will exalt you, my God and King,

and praise your name forever and ever.

I will praise you every day;

yes, I will praise you forever.

Great is the LORD! He is most worthy of praise!

No one can measure his greatness.

Psalm 145:1-3

I will. I will. I will. Three times I am claiming, I will praise the LORD. This sounds like taking vows in marriage. I do, I will. The smile of celebration and joy of new life flows from my heart beating wildly with passion, peace and purpose. The future spread before me dances dreams across my mind connecting forgotten longings with God empowering possibilities!

Enter, life on a daily basis......sweating it out on mountain tops and in the valleys. Finding myself most days somewhere between the two......at times distant from the lover of my soul, dreams fading......limiting time, limiting energy, limiting calling, limiting life. Just the business of getting through the day committed by honoring the commitment.

I have said, "I will." And I have. But the real issue being missed is, "Do I now? At this very moment?" In the moment of frustration? In the moment of tiredness? In the moment of achievement? In the moment of failure? In the moment of pain? In the moment of fear? In the moment of isolation? In the moment of bitterness? In the moment of anger? In the moment of defeat? In the moment of loss? In the moment of victory? In the moment of joy? In the moment of crisis? In the moment of hurt? In the moment of celebration? In the moment of discipline? No, I can not in truth say that I do. That I always do. How ideal it would be. How glorious. How freeing. Even knowing, what irony it is, that it is those moments my heart grows callous and stubborn.....stiff necked as those saved folk in the wilderness. Praise can't be found on my lips and feels like saw dust in my mouth at some of those moments. Why? Why am I so unfaithful? It isn't like praise is beyond my ability. Could it be those are the moments of greatness treasure to give the heart of God? The sacrifice of praise.

I love praising the LORD! I love to praise Him everyday! It is the moments of unfaithfulness that brand me a harlot. I give what belongs to him to someone or something else. He created me, He has courted me, He has given me His heart and accepted mine in return. He covers all my sin. He is my constant companion, comforter, friend and savior. He is provider, shelter, Redeemer. He IS.

I will praise the LORD in the moments and be free from captivity. Free to love. Free to see Him. Free to live with Him. Free to have my heart and life one with him......moment by moment. Because it is the moments I live or die. Stone or flesh. Breath or perish.

I need you, Jesus. I gift moments to you for praise that I haven't been doing. I praise you for your love and faithfulness! YOU alone are WORTHY! Nothing and No one compares to YOU.

He alone is your God, the only one who is worthy of your praise, the one who has done these mighty miracles that you have seen with your own eyes.

Deuteronomy 10:21

Then Hannah prayed: My heat rejoices in the LORD! The LORD has made me strong. Now I have an answer for my enemies; I rejoice because you rescued me.

I Samuel 2:1

I called on the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies.

2 Samuel 22:4

The LORD lives! Praise to my Rock! May God, the Rock of my salvation, be exalted!

2 Samuel 22:46-47

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy.

Psalm 5:11

Now I stand on solid ground, and I will publicly praise the LORD.

Psalm 26:12

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again - my Savior and my God!

Psalm 43:5

I will sacrifice a voluntary offering to you; I will praise your name, O LORD, for it is good.

Psalm 54:6

Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer.

Psalm 63:3-4

But I will keep on hoping for your help; I will praise you more and more.

Psalm 71:14

I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the LORD.

Hosea 2:19-20

In the last days, God says,

I will pour out my Spirit upon all people.

Your sons and daughters will prophesy.

Your young men will see visions,

and your old men will dream dreams.

In those days I will pour out my Spirit

even on my servants - men and women alike -

and they will prophesy.

Acts 2:17-18

Psalm 145

I am committing to reading, studying and meditating on the 145th Psalm for a week. It is going to be the first to enter my brain in the mornings, setting the day's path. Just thinking of how often instruction flows from my mouth to the children on leadership followed by the sunken ship of leadership from Mommy, births motivation. My hope is to memorize not only the content but know it's address; to gain understanding and ability to use the Sword; and be ready to teach, share and disciple! There is power in the WORD! It's gonna be a lot harder for the enemy to sneak in my day if the door is slammed on him. Jesus is calling me to this particular Psalm, gifting me with His Treasure. I am in wonder of the changes He will work in me through it. I am excited and even a little alarmed by what He is equipping me for. Tonight as my hands rest on the keyboard, I am so very thankful.........He speaks to me.....and has sent me His Love Letter...His WORD.

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Psalm 145

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I will exalt you, my God and King,

and praise your name forever and ever.

I will praise you every day;

yes, I will praise you forever.

Great is the LORD! He is most worthy of praise!

No one can measure his greatness.

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Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts;

let them proclaim your power.

I will meditate on your majestic glorious splendor

and your wonderful miracles.

Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue;

I will proclaim your greatness.

Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness;

they will sing with joy about your righteousness.

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The LORD is merciful and compassionate,

slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.

The LORD is good to everyone.

He showers compassion on all his creation.

All of your works will thank you, LORD,

and your faithful followers will praise you.

They will speak of the glory of your kingdom;

they will give examples of your power.

They will tell about your mighty deeds

and about the majesty and glory of your reign.

For your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom.

You rule throughout all generations.

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The LORD always keeps his promises;

he is gracious in all he does.

The LORD helps the fallen

and lifts those bent beneath their loads.

The eyes of all look to you in hope;

you give them their food as they need it.

When you open your hand,

you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.

The LORD is righteous in everything he does;

he is filled with kindness.

The LORD is close to all who call on him,

yes, to all who call on him in truth.

He grants the desires of those who fear him;

he hears their cries for help and rescues them.

The LORD protects all those who love him,

but he destroys the wicked.

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I will praise the LORD,

and may everyone on earth bless his holy name forever and ever.

AMEN..

I wanna raise my hands to the words, I will, in pledge and worship. 'Cause The LORD, HE IS!!!!

Lame?

The LORD has put me in position to see the brokenness of others. To see their hopelessness. I can feel their burden souls. My heart breaks for them. I just want to wipe away tears and make it all better. These are the moments heartbreak has been allowed into my life. Without heartbreak, disappointment, fear, pain, hopelessness and trials of faith, I would not have a Heart like HIS. Nor would my words be ought by theory. I praise Jesus for being KING.

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There are several special ones I am praying for this week intensely. Repentance is at the forefront of my mind, discovering ever more areas in my own life in need of agreement with the Almighty Creator King. Serving in prayer is serious business.

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The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting some money. But Peter said, "I don't have any silver or gold for you. But I'll give you what I have. In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!" Then Peter took the lame man by the right hand and helped him up. And as he did, the man's feet and ankles were instantly healed and strengthened. Acts 3:5-7

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Lame? How many forms that can take. I've been a lame Christian and have been prayed for and taken by the hand to get up and walk! The Christian Walk is filled with danger and adventure. It isn't boring or empty. The Lord desires all of us and fulfils all of us. Even flawed Peter, even flawed me can give hope, faith and love. In the name of Jesus, by His power and for His Glory I'm lifting to the throne of grace, mercy, redemption and salvation the lame walkers of faith crying out for help. May their feet and ankles be strengthened and healed.....standing them in the Promised Land.

He Delights In Me

They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress,

but the LORD supported me.

He led me to a place of safety;

he rescued me because he delights in me.

The LORD rewarded me for doing right;

he restored me because of my innocence.

Psalm 18:18-20

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Isn't it just the time to be attacked when we are at our weakest. For me it is. The enemy is watching for perfect timing to arrest my faith. Holding on to truth under attack is not easy as flames of persecution singe my hair. I wanna have the faith to walk into the furnace and come out without stinking of smoke! Fire Walker isn't a name I can go by. Fear of being burned is more reality. Fear being the opposite of faith rings bells of alarm in my mind.

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I am stunned by the support the LORD gives under attack. Sometimes my soul floats, other times I can't hear or feel him at all. Holding on to the truth of his Word is a discipline and lifeline. He is utterly my hero during the trials he swoops in to save me. I wish it was that easy all the time. He only shows off like that enough to restore my faith. I've come to realize He doesn't want such a one sided love affair. Ya I love it when HE loves me, comes to my rescue, restores, saves, protects and lifts. But that is him delighting in me. Where does that reveal my delight in HIM? Do I? Do I really? I ask myself, "Do I run to Him just for Him? Would I love Him despite a love for or not for me? Do I want to delight in Him above all?" How different my life would be. How different...yet it is what I want. But am not. I still struggle with delighting in compartmentalizing....many delights, so to speak. Yes, He is my filter. I do believe Him. He is truth. So what's up? Could it be the deference between loving Jesus and being so in-love that it eclipses all else. Could it be the real jump into another existence. Is this what Paul experienced? Peace that passes understanding? The joy of the LORD?

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The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.

Psalm 37:4

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Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desires.

Psalm 37:4

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He knows my name...as the song goes. The next lyrics should be, he knows my desires! I think, I know them and so beg/pray for them. Another thread to be pulled from the fabric of my flesh is that of trusting my "known" desires. As crazy as it sounds, that is believing God. My life is a complete statement of Him not giving me my requested desires and giving me the real desires of my heart. Those desires I didn't even know existed or wanted. In the movies, I remember a line, "you are everything, I never knew, I always wanted." True that. He knows me in a way I can never know myself. Loves me, still.

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For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

Psalm 45:11

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Praise the LORD!

I will thank the LORD with all my heart

as I meet with his godly people.

How amazing are the deeds of the LORD!

All who delight in him should ponder them.

Everything he does reveals his glory and majesty.

His righteousness never fails.

Psalm 111:1-3

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May HE, THE ONE AND ONLY, be the DELIGHT of our LIVES!!!

What About Me?

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers - most of which are never even seen - don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Matthew 6:30 The Message

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I've read that verse many times and applied it to material possessions and to physical needs. As I see it here in The Message I find that I'm fed in a different way.

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Attention. What a word. It's a command! My heart screams at times for attention. Even little girls desire attention. How have I not grown up? This passage is telling me not to fuss. God knows I fuss about attention and missing out. He says it is an everyday human concern. That makes me feel a little better. My need for attention is an everyday human concern. So it is going to be there, I can't just make it go away, suppress it, ignore it, or even walk away from it. It does not mean that I am selfish, self-centered or self-absorbed. It means that the way I am created I have a deep need for attention. What I fill that with or how I doctor that need is something else. Forcing someone else to meet my attention needs is selfish and self-absorbed, blinding me to their needs and desires: Completely ignoring Jesus and devaluing His relationship with me. It painfully reveals my lack of seeking the Lord's attention, or giving Him mine.jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

I don't struggle with attention in every area of my life....but where I do, it is destructive and demanding. I struggle with attention that I feel slips away from me if I don't make an issue of it. I simply do not trust God. OUCH. Oh, I don't say that or even think it in the moments of fussing. Yet the reality of convicting truth shatters any allusion I may try to cling to.

You know God and how HE works: I do...reality, initiative, provision

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Attend to me

Take pride in me

Do what's best for me

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RELAX, don't be preoccupied with getting attention - so I can RESPOND to God's GIVING

(stop the fussing, the worshiping/focus directing thoughts and actions)

Preoccupied.............(WHAT??!) God is saying I am setting out to be a fussy, demanding person. That before I am occupied I've set my heart and thoughts. I am looking for ways to be disappointed (WHAT???!) That can't be me! Am I really looking for it? Do I really take everything through THAT UGLY filter? Let me soften the blow to my heart......it is a small part of me....Ya, I can't quite swallow that either. Even a small amount is damaging and it's impact has the ability to reach further than I can control or desire.

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So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life - and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:1 The Message

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Do I trust God? Is Jesus my heart and longing? Is HE the one I am seeking/worshiping/focusing to direct my thoughts and actions? Is HE? Yes and no. So the question really is, Is He enough? I sing the song lyrics...I mean them with my whole heart....but it slips away as I look else where to fill my need of attention. A crack in the armor has been found. The protective gear over my heart has slipped. Maybe I forgot to strap it on firmly? Maybe I forget my brain covering in moments.

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I LOVE YOU LORD!

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Be good to your servant, God; be as good as your Word. Train me in good common sense; I'm thoroughly committed to living your way. Before I learned to answer you, I wandered all over the place, but now I'm in step with your Word. You are good, and the source of good; train me in your goodness. The godless spread lies about me, but I focus my attention on what you are saying; They're bland as a bucket of lard, while I dance to the tune of your revelation. My troubles turned out all for the best - they forced me to learn from your textbook. Truth from your mouth means more to me than striking it rich in a gold mine. Psalm 119:65 The Message

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So, it's a new day. I'm going to learn from the truth spoken from my lips to the children, "Fussing will never get what you what." As God parents me saying to my heart, "I can't bless fussing my love." I will give my attention to Jesus and be ready to respond to the attention He gives me. In fact....now I am really EXCITED!

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This WILDFLOWER is ready to be Dressed by the KING JESUS!!!

Rejoice in the LORD! Again I say REJOICE!!!

How do I find the words to express my heart watching my son baptize my daughter? God keeps HIS promises!

I know my children, and know their flaws just like the Lord knows me. I LOVE them. I am in love with them. By giving my heart, by living the sacrifice for them, I discover layers of Jesus love and sacrifice for me. HE LOVES me, He is in love with me. Love is defined by sacrifice. Such a mystery confusing me for years. In fact I think I was stuck on that point, defending my position, as if God would concede. Talk about sassy adolescent type.

Little Mommy desired Bubba to baptize her. Despite all the disciplining from myself and others, it is her brother that made it real. It became real for her in joint Bible studies, in their relationship, in his struggles, in his victories, in his witness. From us adults, it was theory and teaching. But from Bubba, it was real.....transparent...life. She saw in him God is real and true for everyone.

Entering the water, the beginning of new life.....she marries Jesus for life. Her first husband. She has made covenant with Him. Our family celebrated by making her new clothes for the bride.

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; Romans 12:10kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

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Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way. Romans 14:13

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But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; 1 Thessalonians 4:9

Let brotherly love continue. Hebrews 13:1

Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. I Peter 3:8-9

But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:5-8

He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him.

1 John 2:10

The miracle of our family keeps unfolding... PRAISE JESUS!!!!

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Turning the Page

So much, it seems fills my life. Challenges, CHALLENGES. I ask myself, "What is the LORD thinking?" Through it all, He is always there and providing whatever I've needed to complete a task He's asked of me. I've been WAY over my head. Let me witness, Jesus IS ALIVE!

It has been hard being a Christian at times. The contrast without Christ is vivid. There is no other hope. This has been a season of living persecution. Ya don't have to go to another country. I'm finding things look clearer, my vision desperate for the LORD. My love for HIS WORD like that of the Psalms.

Despite or maybe because of the past year we are all stronger. I feel completely worn out physically and emotionally, letting me truly see/understand/know/recognize i am weak. BUT HE IS STRONG!!!!

There is an awful few minutes turned glorious by the power of the HOLY SPIRIT seared in my mind. I know this as I was something I'm not, restrained as I am not, calm as I am not........I left reeling from the encounter, drained, overwhelmed.......until the realization of His Strength and Presence dawned like the sun on the horizon. It's not everyday I get to see HIM take over this body, this mouth. I'm so glad to have had the bit in my mouth and not operating with a mind of flesh. Victory. The kind of victory my soul desires above what victory looks like to the flesh. The most amazing thing about my LORD that day is He just carried me.....there was no battle with my flesh and spirit. I wish I could say I continued to walk in step with His Spirit, I can't. But I do know the joy of it and long to make it more of my life. Unexpected, just like the flood.

Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body.

James 3:3

That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

John 3:6

It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and the are life.

John 6:63

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.

Romans 8:5

For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but it by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

Romans 8:13

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

Galatians 5:16

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual host of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Ephesians 6:12

So I'm turning the page of self reliance once again to the page of Jesus where I depend of His Faithfulness, His Authority and His Promises. Challenges still surround me, yet they belong to Him. I am His servant. May all the glory go to the KING of Heaven!