I would not have most of the stuff in my home unless I liked it or felt some kind of emotional need to keep or use it. There are many corners of my home with treasures brought to me by loved ones. There are many items I've collected myself. There are things that hold memories of my family. There are even some things that inspire dreams.
Now there is simply too much stuff in my home. I'm not a hoarder but there is clutter. Enough clutter to keep me from living the way I want to. We've settled in a blessed home that meets all our needs and is very comfortable. Our future has begun. And that is something to dance about!
A year and a half ago I sold everything I could part with at that time. We stuffed the remainder in a rental house and used the garage for storage. Who knew what our future home would be like? Now we know and it won't all fit. Ok....I have stuffed it in physically and packed in the garage. It's not quite the beauty I have envisioned this way. So. What's gottttaaaaa go???
Going from a large home with ABUNDANT storage to a home with a limited amount is an emotional brick wall. Just learning to think differently is a brain freeze. Storage has never been a real issue for me in the past, even with the school stuff!
I am pleased with my progress but it just ain't enough. Now the pain is setting in with questions like:
- Will I really know it's gone?
- Before leaving our previous home did I use it at least at holidays?
- Do I have something else to use?
- Do I need this many?
- How many guest will I really have in this house at a time?
- Does it need repaired?
- Do I have the same taste in this home as the last?
- Why am I keeping it? For me or someone else?
- Where am I gonna put it?
- How many projects do I have?
- Do I really need this to see or touch for keepsakes? How many?
- If I let it go will my dreams go with it?
- Is this blocking the future?
- Do I just love it?
- Does it make me smile? Do I need it to smile?
- Does it help me with accountability?
The BIG question the LORD is asking me in this season is, "Daughter, look in your heart...What's gotta go?" Ouch! He knows me so well, teaching me something externally to bring change internally. The sweeping away of stuff is not really material but emotional for me. So what is the emotional stuff hidden in the corners of my heart that I'm cherishing? That need to go? I discover His desire for me to be part of the process. Freewill offerings. All of my surroundings belong to Him. All of my heart belongs to Him. He could just command it, take it, even destroy it. He doesn't. He wants me to find it, ask the questions, flesh it out and offer it up. Freewill offering.
All the Israelite men and women who were willing brought to the LORD freewill offerings for all the work the LORD through Moses had commanded them to do. Exodus 35:29
My heart stuff could be really good stuff but in the way of what the LORD wants to do with me now. He is up to a new thing in me. I need to let go of.......what? It could be some trash I keep packing in my mind and drag with me everywhere. THAT sounds good to let go. Even a no brainer. Discerning between good stuff......aww that is hard and emotionally draining.
The LORD is my treasure. I can store all my memories in Him. All my dreams. All my projects!
Search me, God and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Psalm 139:23
Search me and show me what's gotta go LORD. I know it's gonna hurt and I might even mourn a bit. I trust you to bless my efforts. Encourage me by not showing me more than I can bear at a time.
There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 The Message
It's the Right Time! It's God's appointed time for me. Just knowing the truth of that sets my heart to the tasks before me.
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