Jump Beloved

When Jesus heard him (her), he stopped and said, "Tell him (her) to come here."

So they called the blind man (woman). "Cheer up," they said. "Come on, he's calling you!" Bartimaeus threw aside his (her) coat, jumped up, and came to Jesus.

"What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked.

"My rabbi," the blind man (woman) said, "I want to see!"
Mark 10:49-51

I am so excited! The LORD is calling me. Calling me to jump! Bouncing images clutter all my thoughts creating  bubbles of youth in the aged fog of stale life. Who am I to say it's too late, it won't matter, it serves no purpose. The plate is served before me. Will I eat? YES! And it feels like rain refreshing my soul. Just knowing there is still life ahead. Adventure.

Until the time came to fulfill his dreams,
the LORD tested Joseph's character.
Psalm 105:19

The time for dreaming is not past. I love my life and feel blessed everyday. But it is a life laid out before me day in and day out. What is next. Is this all I've been called to? Most days I believe it is.....some days I'm not allowed to wonder if there could have been more. Surrounded by limits. Many questions of HOW???? Even Why?

He whispers in my heart, "Because I want to." He wants to? Well that settles is.

He has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of his own purposed and grace. This grace was given in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.
2 Timothy 1:9

Sure.... So will this be another round of sacrifice and discipline, a call to faith? That is just draining my energy. Wait, I know that voice..........

Get behind me Satan!

Could this be some of the joy set before me? Dare I hope?

He whispers again, "Let me fill your heart. Let me romance my beloved."

Wooooah. me? now? I need to clean up a bit first.

"Yeah, you do. Take off your past dreams and put on mine I've created for you."

"Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground."
Exodus 3:5

I have been stuck. Limiting possibilities by what I can see. By what I understand. So grown up and mature with loss of child like faith. Perhaps the child like face He wants to see on me is that of hope and delight in the future. Adoringly, Worshipfully looking to HIM, My Hero, My Love. A future where He makes the rules, where He is in control.  Where nothing is impossible for the LORD. And I can do all things in Christ.

This I say, therefore, and testify in the LORD, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart;
Ephesians 4:17-18

So what will I do with the gift of living the adventure? Will I make excuses? Will I stay focused on the past? Will I blame others for blocking or holding me back? Will I have faith? Will I say yes to what I don't completely understand, even if the prospect both scares and thrills me? Will I reject Him?

Will I trust JESUS enough to take His Hand and JUMP? I am looking at all the reasons it won't work or isn't practical or maybe even selfish. Is the enemy trying to put a stop to it? Am I gonna let him?

I am at peace. And that is HUGE! My God is ABLE. If this is His WILL, i am ready!!! I have no idea how it will all work out. The blessing of such a fit. ONLY Jesus knows me like that!

HE has had me in a strong season of servanthood and obedience and humility. He has looked me in the eye day after day calling truth in and out of my soul. I continue to wrestle with Him like Jacob....until He blesses me. Now with many limps.....perhaps I am ready. Now, aged and seasoned  like Moses...perhaps I am ready.  Now that I can't credit anything or anyone else...perhaps I am ready. How many time does He say, "and then you will know that I AM The LORD." Have I been brought through so much to know HE IS the LORD?

Maybe it isn't what I think it is. Maybe the gift is looking at tomorrow differently. Looking to Him with a child like faith. Maybe He is just teaching me to say yes without questioning with a ready, expectant life.

The children know there are three parts to obedience. No exceptions. You miss one part and you've disobeyed. First time. Completely. Attitude. Is this the lesson for me, again? It's just not whole with a part missing.

For merely listening to the law doesn't make us right with God. It is obeying the law that makes us right in his sight.
Romans 2:13

The child is not to question, argue or demand explanations prior to obeying. THIS is very hard. I am happy to explain at a different time. Or I may choose this as a teaching time. This takes faith on their part and trust in me or in the LORD.  It's very hard for me too. I really can't obey any better than my children if I don't choose to trust and know HE IS the LORD.

Again the LORD humbles Himself to this lowly flawed woman and beckons my hand, "Trust ME. I AM. Fear Not. Lean not on your own understanding. JUMP my darling!"

But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
Jude 1:20-21